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@Ark_Minor
As this thread depresses me so much, I'm glad to be able to post a tale of a stolen bike successfully recovered.
This from a mate's Facebook this week.
"Bike robbed weds // gumtree ad for identical bike appears thurs // 'geordie Jon' meets mike tyson's twin outside dodgy pub to see goods // all is as suspected // mike gets distracted when asked directions by passer by (thanks whoever you were) // adrenaline rush, foot down, don't look back // opportunity to rightfully reclaim goods dutifully taken // the thief becomes the thieved // sha // moan // mothafukka!!"