Lance Armstrong... greatest doper there was or ever will be

The sexual attraction to Armstrong probably stems from his very upright/on the hoods climbing style, with a thousand yard stare, refusing to relent until the job is finished, very much like visions of Gary Linekar, although he'd have a benevolent smile, and you'd probably grab his ears and make him choke or something. I dunno, it's not really my thing. I'm not into fucking deluded rednecks or boyish upstarts from crisptown.

I always thought it was just because Armstrong looks like a penis.