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@deleted
On occasion I will sneak up behind them and set fire to their hair. Then as they run around trying to pat the back of their head with their hands, all flappy-flappy, I will laugh in a good natured way before using the contents of my water bottle to extinguish the flames. After that I will accompany them to a top London salon and pay for the repair work, up to and including extensions, and then treat them to a meal at a Michelin starred restaurant. If that goes well we will take a taxi to a discrete little hotel I know where we will make love till the morning light. Finally I will order room service, the full-English or Continental depending on the sort of person they are. But I will leave without paying for it. That usually makes them think twice about crossing the road without looking.