New Thread 7

Sure, so, Dooks told us that last night, around the time thread 7 was being conceived he did my last pre-swimathon training session. It ended prematurely after an hour and 15 minutes when a splashy macho prick headbutted him by swimming straight into him by going the wrong way round the fast lane. It still hurts today. Then he went home via Sainsbury's and had mushroom tortellini with toasted pine nuts, spinach and a bit of goat's cheese. He listened to Marc Riley on 6music while he tidied the living room and put all his guitar mess from his extended weekend away. Later when his girlfriend came home from the gym to have her dinner she accidentally popped the lid off the pepper grinder sending hundreds of whole peppercorns all over her food and the floor. He re-plated her food for her and hoovered up the mess in exchange for her doing the washing up. Later he was still hungry so he had some greek yoghurt and muesli. He drank two big cups of tea and later still one of lemon and ginger tea. She went to bed early as she had an early start today. He trawled the innernetz for a bit then started watching Family Guy but wasn't in the mood for it and went to bed not much later at about 11. At 2:20am he was woken with a start by the loud clanging of someone climbing over the inner gate next to my flat and what sounded like a dog yelping. From previous experience (of the late-night gate noise not the weird yelping) I know this means they're probably now in the short passage that that leads to the communal back garden onto which my ground floor bedroom window looks. Last time he saw/heard this happen a load of bikes were stolen from various places around the flats and he got very jumpy for a while afterwards as all there is between the garden and my bedroom is a flimsy sash window with a pretty perfunctory grille and padlock over it. he got up to investigate but couldn't see anyone out there. After a while of intense listening he figured the noise must have been them climbing back over and out... the whole thing made me very edgy and I woke up at the slightest sound for the remainder of the night. He am very tired today as a result. This morning however, eveything seemed to be in order so I'm not going to worry about it too much. There are security lights and cameras up there now so there's not much more to be done short of machine gun nests or armed guards and razor wire. After the missus left early for her meeting he lay in bed late listening to Humph' being a pompous nobber on R4 before leaping up at the last possible moment for a hasty shower. My shower curtain has a map of the world on it with all the countries in English and French. He's noticed that all you have to do to translate about 80% of country names is exchange the suffix "ia" in english for "ie" in French. For the other 20% you've got no hope unless you know it. I'm also getting quite good at spelling the names of coutries in reverse as the shower curtain faces outwards. For breakfast he had three slices of soda bread toast. Two with marmite (which was fucking shit incidentally) and one with peanut butter, 2 glasses of orange squash and decided on the flat-cap and silk scarf as it was a bit more chilly this morning. He wore my new Big Star t shirt under my riding jacket. Nice ride in, quick, lucky with traffic and he felt strong. Must sort out wonky handlebars (not quite centered in the stem), try raising the stem half a cm or so to see if it takes a bit of pressure of the hands and get a new chainring. Have enjoyed coming back to fixed after 6 month geared with a nippy, spinny 46/18 set up but need to get back to 48 on the front as my top speed is very limited. Avoided the Angel madness with a nifty shortcut, jumped the lights to turn left at Mount Pleasant, got a green at Clerkenwell Road and onto Blackfriars Bridge and beat the traffic at the change to go right on Stamford street, the security guy saw him coming and opened the gate with a cheery wave. There was a end-of-row bike rack available and the lift went straight to my floor. There was no-one in the changing room and fresh milk in the fridge for my first coffee of the day. So all in all, new thread 7's not been too shabby for him so far.

There was a end-of-row bike rack available and the lift went straight to my floor.

Find & Replace fail.