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@deleted
Sadistic as it may be this thread is Comedy gold... The lock round the saddle trick is fucking genius, George Clooney's disgusted puss says it all really.
And as little sympathy as I have for any of the previous... we've all done it.
I've gone to the pub and left my lock sitting unattached to my bike for 4 hours-on a busy street with loads of bars-come back cunted and found it still there, which for Glasgow was nothing short of a miracle and actually better at teaching me a lesson because if it had gone I would never have know and just thought 'some pikey cunt's nicked my bike', then been raging for weeks, as opposed thinking 'you're a right royal fanny son, wise up'... the end.