Locks that work

BTW maybe it would help if we start using the locks proper names, i.e. New York Lock 3000, instead of Fahgettaboudit Standard, which doesn't exist, etc etc...

Quite right. The current correct name is the "New York Lock® STD" (or "Standard").

Of course the Fahgettaboudit Mini isn't called the "Fahgettaboudit Mini" either, it's the "New York Fahgettaboudit® Lock", not a Mini in sight.

I'll make amends.