• Under the theme near misses... Almost ended up under a Volvo tank on Sunday when a near-blind OAP pulled out of Asda in Gosforth and didn't see me till I was two inches from his bonnet. Some fake tan bint in a sports car pulled up beside me after the roundabout where I was still shaking like a sh1tting dog. I thought she was going to ask if I was OK, but she just said "Get some f*ing road tax you tosr" and drove off... Nice!

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