Instrument of the devil

when i'm not on my bike, it becomes the most pokey, clumsy, awkward, bastard in the hallway contrivance in Christendom. Is it just me?

Can you not use it as a shit hanger like any normal person?

Can you not use it as a shit hanger like any normal person?

hahaha!

shit hanger.

Nope mate, you're not alone- I had a mtb with bar ends on that had such sticky rubberry stuff on them, you'd barely touch it with your sleeve or somesuch, and it would grab, and drag the whole bike over.

Pedals are actually designed to tear at your shins- right height etc.

god i never wanted to imagine scherrits sticky ends

You think that's bad, one of my bikes has bloody 3 foot wide bars!

Nope mate, you're not alone- I had a mtb with bar ends on that had such sticky rubberry stuff on them, you'd barely touch it with your sleeve or somesuch, and it would grab, and drag the whole bike over.

Pedals are actually designed to tear at your shins- right height etc.

I know that rubbery crap! I reckon it's the same stuff they make dildos out of.
My advice would be to KY jelly your bars, then you'll slide effortlessly past them, or indeed, onto them.

I just moved into a house that has bike hooks on the hall wall, this is useful as there are 3 bikes stored there, though having pedals at head height bring a whole new hazard.

This could well be a double use for Tynan's security paste

my current commuter bike has a combination of supertanker-like mass, a very slick headset, wide heavy bars and lots of extra bits like racks and bells to catch yourself on. this means that not only is it a pain to navigate past in the narrow hallway but that if you leave it not entirely supported from three seperate angles for a few seconds (like leaning against a lamp-post or wall while you fumble for your keys or shut a door) it nearly always tries it's very best to escape and throw itself to the floor like some slippery epileptic baby giraffe. bastard!

something along the lines of:

Instrument of the devil?

Bikes furnish a room. Fact.

Bikes furnish a room. Fact.

Indeed.

Likewise.

Harmonica too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d6Hl9yiaIU

^ That, my friend, is custom instrument porn.

Oh I agree it's pretty awesome, however i've yet to see anyone in real life use one in such a way that it doesn't make me want to rip out my ear drums and stamp on them.

Not custom though, it's a standard Romanian instrument.

tell me about it, my bike is right out side my bedroom, which is unfortuantely located next to the stairs, so in order to pass the bike without ending up in a&e i have to bendo forward to avoid the staris and breath in to avoid the handle bars.

Is a piss take if i have to do it during the night.

... that it doesn't make me want to rip out my ear drums and stamp on them.

Finally coming round to our point of view about your taste in music then?

Actually, that Romanian thing is better.

2010 is all about these

and waterproof covers...

Where's the immaculately tied blue bow on Harry?

Who 'plumbed in' your cooker hood, Stevie Wonder? ;)

ha! ^^
happened to be in a school assembly the other day, the head was celebrating a kid getting a letter from the most important person in Britain, when asking the crowd who that was what do you think someone said?

Michael jackson!

gotta love these sort of laughs.

Oh, OP, consider scars gained from hallway collisions camoflage for the urban jungle,
or something.

Get more than one bike and they gang up on you. Take one off a wall hook and another will topple over and take out your calf with the chainring. Brush one and the carefully balance stack of 4 topples over, trapping you underneath.

ha! ^^
happened to be in a school assembly the other day, the head was celebrating a kid getting a letter from the most important person in Britain, when asking the crowd who that was what do you think someone said?

Michael jackson!

gotta love these sort of laughs.

Oh, OP, consider scars gained from hallway collisions camoflage for the urban jungle,
or something.

So who is the most important person in britain?