BBC1 19.30 tonight

"We dressed our reporter in a day-glo vest and some lycra trousers. Within minutes he was jumping red lights; mowing-down pedestrians like a velocipedal Boudicca. After just an hour, he was charging along one-way streets contrariwise and irking the Clarksons."

At least, that's what it would have been like if they had a proper reporter, like Ted Maul.

Haha.

"YOU FUCKING LOUSE!