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@s.walrus
When I read 'Morrell rupture', for some reason I immediately thought of The Island of Doctor Moreau. Maybe your arse is now the part of some grotesque animal/human medical experiment?
Just a thought.
We've never met (and now you would problably wish we never do) but get well soon, Sir, and thank you for your epic tale which will, no doubt, go down in the an(n)als of cycling folklore.