Learn Golf In 5 Days

...So, I'm going for a job interview at a golf club in a few days and have a slight disadvantage that i don't know stuff all about golf. I know a lot about mowing grass, which is what I hope to be doing but a little basic understanding of the game would probably help.
What I know so far:

• You hit the ball into 18 succesive holes using as few shots as possible.
  -There are 3 different lengths of grass, very short & smooth (around the holes), short (everywhere else) and longish (in the rough).
  -Golf courses are a great source of magic mushrooms.
  The final one is an incentive for getting the job but not a great help in an interview situation. So...
  
  

Over to you :)

Beware of the Swans!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HInEgFk22WQ

Stay away from the women golfists

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTmzqI0idOY

Clubs are woods and irons.

Oh and a famous person once said that golf was a good way to ruin a walk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7Kf2ZWqmkc

Right. I'll watch caddyshack again. Brilliant. Sorted.

watch Happy Gilmore.

watch Happy Gilmore.

Fail.

Right. I'll watch caddyshack again. Brilliant. Sorted.

Win.

According to 21 Grams, you want to avoid tattoos on your neck.

watch caddyshack.
all you need to know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xNFPaPor8A

is at a Dorset club? thia area has more powerful people than anywhere else in the country; allegedly. so I would expect a fully submissive doff your cap whilst employing strongest yer but no but accent would help, oh, and an exhaustive knowledge of green keeping, machinery and an average blagging level on countrywide courses may be helpful.
or, just lie and say you’ve worked for Prince Charles all over the place, that usually does it.
do not say; "I hate golfers, they are mainly cuntish businessmen that meet to conduct dodgy business deals, whilst away shagging their girlfriends at the country pile.cunts."
good luck.

Golf sucks. Good luck

I once drove a ford fiesta over a golf course. mis-spent youth.

Golf, the only opportunity white middle aged men get these days to dress like pimps.

I like golf.

No, wait, I like sex, not golf.

Golf sucks. Good luck

the game is actually brilliant. all about mental relaxation coupled with action.I highly rate it on the zen scale.

Jason, any driving ranges round here?

Be the ball Danny.

no idea actually about this area, pretty satisfying somehow hitting good clean distance drivers isnt it? we should find out where to go for a laugh.

Be the ball Danny.

Danny who?

It's a Caddyshack quote.

aaaah ta. don’t have net at home.all about to change though, shit, the temptations........

there is one in canford magna. i live next to it. it used to be my family's dairy farm. driving range, 9 holes par 3, 18 hole parkland course and 18 hole riverside course.

used to work as a greenkeeper every summer while i was a student. not a bad job, except for the golfers. you don't need to know much about golf, you'll pick up all you need to know as you go along.