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  • Don't read the first three pages of a thread on relationships posted on a public forum. Half of the people are a bunch of useless, ugly halfwits who think they are funnier than a cat playing a piano, the rest are pernicious ass-hats looking for information that they can use to make your ex rue the day she ever agreed to go bowling with you (to be fair, what the fuck was she thinking. Bowling, you fucking loser, you deserve to die) and want to shag them until she forgets your name. Besides, they'll all be called Derrick.

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