Any designers want to give me opinions?

It's unclear how you're positioning yourself.
The site feels unfinished and light on content.
The Nick/Dick joke is a really bad idea.
The design of the site doesn't really hang together (get rid of the "hello" man, etc).

I'd write yourself a brief about what the site needs to do functionally (helping you with the build) and what impression it needs to leave with viewers (helping you with the design/tone).

Spot on

the only thing I'd add is think a little about the navigation and get smarter with links. you need something there to make people come back