Help me steal a bike

What a nob. I lost the key to my D-lock and it's locked to my bike and a bike rack. I need to break it open before someone else gets to it! Someone suggested using a car jack to force it but there's not enough space to fit it in. Any more suggestions? And please, nobody mention using a biro.

Battery powered angle grinder... HSS innit

Angle grinder although you'd need a mains supply obviously.

Erm.... BATTERY.

Dunno if you can find a clever enough locksmith??

Cheapie D lock may yield to a decent hacksaw? and you may get away with hacking one side if you know the lock.

If you're not awfully civic minded.... the rack will yield quicker than the lock..... but you still have to chop the lock.

Good luck,
S.

dont cut the rack.

Yeah, cutting the rack won't do much good as the lock is through the chainstays. I'm gonna go and try and find a decent hack saw. Can't wait to see what onlookers say! Fun.

By the way, the lock is similar if not the same as this one...

http://www.wildbell.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/krypto.jpg

The onlookers will say precisely fuck all.

It's true - I car jacked open a D lock on my bike at 11am on a Sunday morning from the railings outside Highbury & Islington tube. (Drunken Saturday night key loss fail)

Not one person so much as looked twice.

Angle grinder although you'd need a mains supply obviously.

I broke open my D lock with a battery-powered angle grinder - borrowed from the exceedingly helpful Fred. Used two fully charged batteries tho. Took about ten minutes and no one said anything.

Those battery-powered angle grinders are apparently now the thief's equipment of choice. It'll be ideal for setting you off on your new career. :)

probably best to arm yourself with solid proof of ownership too just in case the police don't believe you, if the 1% chance of them noticing happens to happen.

Like what happen to Superted when he tried to break his lock and got arrested,

My key snapped off in the lock outside work. Went back at the weekend at about 11:00pm (only time I was free) and strung 3 extension cords out of the office coffee room (2nd floor) across the car park and to the street where the bike racks are and used an angle grinder on it.

Loads of passers by, and right in view of the University security office - loads of noise and loads of sparks in the dark - I got loads of worried looks but still no one said anything.

Mains powered industrial sized angle grinder ftw... took about a minute!

I had an angle grinder in the boot for of my car for yonks because of those cretinous car clampers that Westminster Council brought in a few years ago. Whizzed about forty of the limpits off before they changed their small print and started billing me, but then the bills went to my office and got filed in the bin. God, I must owe them a fortune.

I had an angle grinder in the boot for of my car for yonks because of those cretinous car clampers that Westminster Council brought in a few years ago. Whizzed about forty of the limpits off before they changed their small print and started billing me, but then the bills went to my office and got filed in the bin. God, I must owe them a fortune.

you sound really professional heh

^^^ Helped a guy chop a clamp on highbury new park a couple of weeks back. He was pouring boiling water on it(wtf?) lent him 5ft steel wrecking bar. Locking plate wrenched from the clamp in about 3seconds. Often wondered what the legal situation is with clamps. Anyway, i was on the other side of the road and had nothing to do with the chop.

Caught someone in the process of locking onto my bike ages ago, just as i was arriving to collect it. Assumed the worst and had a go at him only to realise he was pretty god damn stupid and probably didn't notice.
That said i'll assume it's a thief every time...

I would imagine that if you cut the wheel clamp off then it is criminal damage.

Andy.W has talked of deflating his tyre and driving out of the clamp, then putting his spare tyre on- under the advice and guidance of a copper.

I think the most elegant thing to do would be to pick the lock and then clamp something entertaining with it, such as a letter box.

Yeah i guessed they'd be after you, would assume if they can be arsed to clamp they can be arsed to take your reg details and charge you for the offence plus the cost of the clamp you destroyed...
Remember a dom jolly thing where he clamped a clamper who was double parked whilst clamping someone.

didnt they decide that private clampers are essentially depriving you of your property and therefore freeing it isnt illegal? i am but a layman so may well be wrong

i had a friend who had this obsession with being unclampable at all times, it only worked on reverse in spaces with a kerb, its reverse until your wheels are halfway up the kerb, the turn the front wheels full lock. anyone know if this works?

I suspect they would have to prove it was you that removed the clamp though and not ..... Anglegrinderman!

Some time ago I Went swimming and locked my coyote outside pool-forgot key. 5 hrs later Snarble instigated late night stealth mission to reclaim bike. Blunt hacksaw blade led to quite some minutes in sawing motion, whilst engaged I noticed down road some lads on mobiles. Microseconds later blue lights, stomping feet and poor young snarbs encircled by 3 giant plods. Questions, questions! Is this your bike? This isn't your bike is it?-mew mew it is, it is!! Whats does the tiny writing say on the forks? Things started to get serious, talk of criminal records, bike being impounded (it had cost me £20 from a charity shop). They tried calling my flatmate, which is what saved me in the end. Luckily she returned, but didn't really appreciate the gravity of the situation. A fact which a very stentorian copper reminded her of, but between stifled titters she confirmed snarbles angelic innocence.
The ticket was that they ended up sawing through the lock for me (hacksaw blade was kept due to it being a dangerous weapon) and I couldn't help but raise the issue, that if I was thief they had just saved me a good deal of work. Black, cloudy looks directed at me as I ventured forth this leetle cheeky bon mot of conversation, I tried a cheeky smile, instantly regretting the opening of my mouf.

I did something similar, locked my bike up, played football with the key in my pocket.. lost it :)
Someone on this forum (can't remember who though) helped me out a great deal and grinded it off for me in the morning. Happy days. If you search the forum for something similar you will find the names of a couple of nice people on here who will do it for a beer or two providing you can prove its yours.

Another time I nipped into a shop to buy some quick stuff, so just one lock on the frame (school boy). Came out a few mins later and some guy was busy undoing my wheels. A quick swing with my other dlock at his ribs soon sent him running, I reckon you could do some awesome damage with a dlock!