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Ha! Awesome thread.
Good luck with the poutine. If you find somewhere, I need to know.
That shit Canadian pub in Covent Garden sells some form of it for 8 quid (or so). I am not spending the equivalent of 16 dollars on a poutine.
You can get salt beef bagles on Brick Lane, but they have noting on Fairmount or St Viateur.
(My girlfriend and I tried to make our own poutine just last week. We used the closest we could find/think of to curds - halloumi. Wasn't bad, really).