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  • What you want is pigeons. Simply write down your missive on a scrap of paper, roll it up and pop it in a little cannister attached to the pigeon's leg. Once prepared, roast the pigeon for about 45 minutes and enjoy with a selection of seasonable veg and maybe a gravy. Pop the carcass through the intended recipients letter box with cannister still attached. All done.

    Don't bother with an iphone, they taste a bit crap.

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