Suggest an ambulance chaser

Prancing James, You are a fucking muppet of the highest order. I suggest that you sell all of your bikes (to me, for cheap) and take up crochet as you are a danger to yourself and everyone around you.

Heal up soon you daft cunt.

I'd suggest croquet. It's safer. Although, there's still mallets involved. Hmmm ... fencing, perhaps?