Bike porn

Who said they were? Unbranded doesn't mean no warranty.
Do you think the unbranded bars are simply grown in the garden from magic carbon beans or something?
The bars without branding are still made in a factory and still have the warranty from said factory, as well as the standard warranty from the seller if they're a proper ebay shop.

Fortunately I'm bored.

I'm guessing magic carbon beans would need a proper hole to be dug?