I hate you all

Another newb here. No really. What problem do you guys exactly have with gears? I sit up here in the North, or as I like to call it 'The Real World', and wonder why you London Boys sacrifice yours knees for the sake of a trendy set of wheels. Or did you just get confused when we got past three speeds?

Hope this is the right thread. Or should I say I hope it isnt?

Cakes is cakes, alright, and buns is buns. Got that?