I once watched Chirs Carsh punch Al Alvarez and Keith Chegwin while snorting coke with Courtney Love/Cox-Arquette in Pete Docherty's bathroom having just flown from New York on Concord with Chris Crass who spent the whole journey fisting Joanna Lumley while discussing the film rights to his life with Woody/Lily Allen having spent the weekend at Martha's Vineyard with the band of the Coldstream Guards who wanted to change their name to the Band of the Chriss Cross Guards but couldn't because Elvis wouldn't let them because he is Chris' best friend and Sheldon Brown was their to get some advice off Crass and also to hold the easel for Lucian Freud who was doing a portrait of Crss for Sir Alan Sugar who'd long been Mr Cress' biggest fan since they met at a pool party Beyonce had thrown for CC's 12th birthday just after he'd married Elizabeth Taylor for the third time in a beautiful ceremony at Sir Richard Branson's villa on Necker where Cruise Crisps had been seen making out with the Andrews Sisters in a chair specially designed for the occasion by CropCircle Creel's great admirer Sir Terence Conran who had also offered Cries Craps a million quid if he's put his name to a new aftershave he was designing though Crack Cripple couldn't agree to that because he already had a contract with Coco Chanel who in fact had changed her name from Betty Chanel just so she could have the same initials as her muse Clap Cricket, the greatest railroad explorer of modern times and the inspiration for the book Diary of a Supertramp as well as being the man who wrote the words and music for Breakfast in America for his great chums Supertramp though that did make his secret gay lover Sir Elton John a little jealous but not as jealous as Sir Rod Stewart who had been pestering Cyst Cave for years with erotic text messages much to the annoyance of Christopher Cross who had followed Coco Chanel's lead in changing his name to reflect through the medium of initials his enormous love for the discoverer of a cure for cancer the eminent scientist Czar Cocks.
I once watched Chirs Carsh punch Al Alvarez and Keith Chegwin while snorting coke with Courtney Love/Cox-Arquette in Pete Docherty's bathroom having just flown from New York on Concord with Chris Crass who spent the whole journey fisting Joanna Lumley while discussing the film rights to his life with Woody/Lily Allen having spent the weekend at Martha's Vineyard with the band of the Coldstream Guards who wanted to change their name to the Band of the Chriss Cross Guards but couldn't because Elvis wouldn't let them because he is Chris' best friend and Sheldon Brown was their to get some advice off Crass and also to hold the easel for Lucian Freud who was doing a portrait of Crss for Sir Alan Sugar who'd long been Mr Cress' biggest fan since they met at a pool party Beyonce had thrown for CC's 12th birthday just after he'd married Elizabeth Taylor for the third time in a beautiful ceremony at Sir Richard Branson's villa on Necker where Cruise Crisps had been seen making out with the Andrews Sisters in a chair specially designed for the occasion by CropCircle Creel's great admirer Sir Terence Conran who had also offered Cries Craps a million quid if he's put his name to a new aftershave he was designing though Crack Cripple couldn't agree to that because he already had a contract with Coco Chanel who in fact had changed her name from Betty Chanel just so she could have the same initials as her muse Clap Cricket, the greatest railroad explorer of modern times and the inspiration for the book Diary of a Supertramp as well as being the man who wrote the words and music for Breakfast in America for his great chums Supertramp though that did make his secret gay lover Sir Elton John a little jealous but not as jealous as Sir Rod Stewart who had been pestering Cyst Cave for years with erotic text messages much to the annoyance of Christopher Cross who had followed Coco Chanel's lead in changing his name to reflect through the medium of initials his enormous love for the discoverer of a cure for cancer the eminent scientist Czar Cocks.