Classic Viz

What was the Profanisaurus name for that feeling you get in your lower bowel which means you know you have only 20 seconds to comply? Obviously to do with Robocop, but I can't remember the rest.

That is Robocrap: n. the ominous feeling in the lower bowel which leaves a fellow in no doubt that he has only 'twenty seconds to comply'.

my personal favorites were:

Abdul's special sauce: n. A thin, red oddly metallic tasting liquid occasionally found in *badly packed kebabs *and which usually ends up smeared around the mouths of hungry gents after closing time on Saturday nights

Arse like the top of a sauce bottle: sim. A less than clean rectum. A nipsy where slight spillages and leaks have dried in situ, and which will have to be picked clean

Percy Thrower's lawn: *n. *A *muff *that has been allowed to go to seed. A hairy unkempt fanny. Terry Waite's allotment.

Sneaky Hitler: n. The surreptitious slipping of one's index finger under one's nose in order to savour the aroma of one's ladyfriends* blip.*

Back on solids: adj. Descriptive of a woman who has recently been* drinking from the hairy goblet,* but who is now back eating beef on the bone. A cured lesbian.

Beaten like a ginger step-child adj. Descriptive of a particularly ferocious and merciless thrashing, for example off a bouncer at a nightclub, a policeman in a cell, or Bjork at Bangkok airport.

..and so may others...Robin Cooks beard, road to Grimsby, sigh....