Survival tips

I met mine at Heathrow. You lazy so and so :P

Oh the guilt trip - had that already..... my old flat mate was like 'what so you'll go and meet a friend at heathrow for a pint cause they've got a 4 hour lay over, but you won't go and meet your folks?'.

correct. They're big people, they can work it out.

Letting ancient people loose on the tube is no laughing matter.

They are probably in High Barnet and their luggage in Cockfosters as we speak

You are probably right. Should I ring my boss and tell him 'late for work' is now 'not at all' (not keen on cycling in this rain when I can stay on the sofa in pjs). Should I inform brixton police that there are some oaps out there on the loose probably swearing at each other?

Cockfosters, so named for the first settler's preferred beer-stirring method.

Truth be told, the real reason I met them was because reading a book on the way to Heathrow is preferable to doing a morning's work.

Truth be told, the real reason I met them was because reading a book on the way to Heathrow is preferable to doing a morning's work.

Being at work is probably better than sitting on the sofa drinking 7 cups of tea whilst waiting an undefined amount of time, semi worried your boss is going to tell you not to bother coming in tomorrow (or the day after) cause you're a lazy shite.

Should I inform brixton police that there are some oaps out there on the loose probably swearing at each other?

I wouldn't, there's plenty already....maybe they'll feel at home before they even get to you.

OK

Cabinet War Rooms
Buck House
Whitehall
Downing Street
Horseguards
Trafalgar Square
National Gallery
National Portrait Gallery
Houses of Parliament
British Museum
Tate
Tate Modern
Westminster Abbey
Sir John Soames Museum
The Inns of Court
The Royal Courts of Justice
The Old Bailey
The Museum of London
Mansion House
Guildhall
St Pauls
The Tower
Tower Bridge

Train to Hampton Court
Train to Windsor
Train to Oxford

A West End Show
A Play at the National or some other "serious" venue
A play at the Royal Court or some other "fringe" venue

That should keep them tired and occupy them for a little while.

They are here for 5 days not 3 months.........

If I set that list as an orienteering challenge it may be possible. (I don't even know what some of those places are)

That's probably because of his judicious use of typographical errors..
"Sir John Soames Museum" :P

I suggested this to my old man when he was here (I want to visit myself) but it was closed on a Monday, I think, so he missed it.
http://www.soane.org/

Trip on the Thames clipper, see London from the river. Plus you can jump of a Greenwich (taken the to the meridian line with all the other tourists) then maybe for a pint by the river and naval museum (if that floats your boat).
It may still be running all the way up to Richmond too, not sure what's up that way though as i normally only see the inside of pubs when I’m that way.

it's a shame the commonwealth institute museum isn't still going, be nice to show them the other stuff Great Britain owns, not just australia.

diable

They are from Australia and so have a very short attention span. Should be enough for a morning.

I'm loosing my will to live before they've even arrived. 'Cash in the attic' is a far inferior version of antiques road show. I like the guy with the colourful specs. I hate day time tv.

Don't worry. Neighbours will be on soon and then you'll feel at home.

[Do they still make Neighbours?]

go to a walkabout. make them feel at home.

Take them for a ride around Town, they'll be amazed at the courtesy and respect shown to cyclist by other road users.

Trying to think of 'big things' we have here, but can't think of anything to compete with the big shrimp and the big pineapple!

go to a walkabout. make them feel at home.

Beaten to the punch by the OP fail..
http://www.londonfgss.com/post986277-4.html

Take them for a ride around Town, they'll be amazed at the courtesy and respect shown to cyclist by other road users.
Trying to think of 'big things' we have here, but can't think of anything to compete with the big shrimp and the big pineapple!

The big bike wheel?

it's a shame the commonwealth institute museum isn't still going, be nice to show them the other stuff Great Britain owns, not just australia.

Shut down due to lack of interest did it? Like the Commonwealth itself.

Take then to Harrods and get them to treat you, ahhh middle class Aussies better take them to Primarni instead.......

kattie's father is Rupert Murdoch..

Tell your folks I'm black and that you know me. Tell them that I also love their culture and Mozart rocks.

Beaten to the punch by the OP fail..
http://www.londonfgss.com/post986277-4.html

repeated because i didn't understand "walkie".

are you still on drugs DJ

Which ones?

Just feeling the need to express my love to all around. Normal service will be resumed shortly.