Help! My lock's seized up and my bike is trapped!

Hmm - maybe try and wrangle a different lock as a replacement, doesn't sound like you want this hassle again...

I will. With the last lock I thought it might just be a one-off, but now I know it's a design flaw. They did offer me a similar model, with a slightly more enclosed mechanism - this time I'll accept.

Right - I'm going to go and work my charms on the nice people at the fire station, to see if I can persuade them to come and help me...