Daily Mail in cycling shocker!

I hope that he teaches his daughter to play chess, and that she then immediately beats him in 5 moves.

I hope when he's running late one day he picks up the shaving foam instead of the deodorant and it drips down his only clean trousers.

I hope he leaves himself logged into his Facebook account and someone changes his status to 'I am a stupid fat cunt'

Sorry if this has been posted already:

http://twitter.com/bradwiggins

My letter to the Mail

Here are the two email addresses that I sent my letter to.

letters@dailymail.co.uk and editorial@dailymailonline.co.uk

I tried to keep the letter well mannered in order to make my point. If anyone wants to copy and paste/edit, feel free

Subject: James Martin - Demand for an Apology

Dear Mr. Dacre,

I'm sure you are aware of the article that was written by Mr. Martin in which he embarrassed himself by recounting an incident while test driving a Tesla electric car. I am writing to you to ask you to demand an apology from Mr. Martin to be published in both the printed version and online version of the Daily Mail.

Mr. Martin's feelings towards cyclists are both ill-informed and juvenile but he is entitled to his opinion. I have my own opinions about him which I am also entitled to. Unfortunately Mr. Martin decided to publish the final paragraph that purports to be an account of an actual event in which he ran a number of cyclists off the road and into a hedge. This account of dangerous driving is not just offensive to avid cyclists but to anyone who has a friend or family member who rides a bicycle on roads shared with cars. Deliberately putting someone at risk of bodily harm while behind the wheel of a car is completely unacceptable and illegal.

The Daily Mail promotes itself as a family newspaper and a supporter of the rule of law and against antisocial behavior. Considering that Mr. Martin was being paid by the Daily Mail for this article and his disgusting behavior published in your pages, I know you will feel that it is your responsibility, as the editor of the newspaper, to demand the aforementioned apology from Mr. Martin immediately.

I look forward to hearing form you with your response to this letter.

Yours sincerely,

Scott Madill

I hope he gets a sty in his eye... and the pigs shit in his ear.

I hope he drives his Nikko radio-controlled car over long grass, and that it wraps around the axles causing the motor to over-torque.

I hope there is an abandoned shopping trolley in the only parking space at the supermarket and he has to get out of his car to move it before parking.

I hope he goes to the shower after a gym session and realises he's forgotten his towel so improvises and uses his grundies instead. Later on in the crowded reception area I hope he has a sudden urge to sneeze and hastily pulls out aforementioned grundies from his pocket instead of his hankie only realising his mistake after thoroughly clearing his nostrils.

I hope he picks a scab before it is ready and it bleeds and scabs up again.

I hope he cuts himself shaving and gets his collar stained

The Mail On Sunday is a different paper to the Daily Mail. Its editor isn't Dacre but Peter Wright

From Saturday Kitchen Wiki . . .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturday_Kitchen

"With Worrall Thompson presenting the rival show, the BBC recruited fat, cyclist hating and soon to be unemployed chef James Martin as the new presenter as no-one else was available and revamped the once format again, switching their choice of independent producer to Cactus TV. The show currently features a Heaven and Hell element, in which a celebrity guest describes their most beloved and loathed foods, and the viewers vote for which recipe based on each James Martin will ruin at the end of the show. This idea was also borrowed for ITV's Sunday Feast the week before the first Cactus-made Saturday Kitchen aired but 3 weeks after the official launch of Saturday Kitchen, where the idea was first announced.
James made the headlines recently for admitting in an online car review for the Daily Hate Mail that he had intentionally ran cyclists off the road in an electric sports car, surprising as it was thought he would have issues getting his chubby frame into a Tesla and that his weight would have instantly drained the power. In his spare time James likes to eat blocks of butter whist getting aroused by the images in Pro Cycling magazine."

I hope he gets impatient waiting for his pot noodle, takes a fork full and they're still crunchy.

I hope the next time he is sweaty, he stretches revealing 2 huge sweat patches in a public place.

From Saturday Kitchen Wiki . . .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturday_Kitchen

"With Worrall Thompson presenting the rival show, the BBC recruited fat, cyclist hating and soon to be unemployed chef James Martin as the new presenter as no-one else was available and revamped the once format again, switching their choice of independent producer to Cactus TV. The show currently features a Heaven and Hell element, in which a celebrity guest describes their most beloved and loathed foods, and the viewers vote for which recipe based on each James Martin will ruin at the end of the show. This idea was also borrowed for ITV's Sunday Feast the week before the first Cactus-made Saturday Kitchen aired but 3 weeks after the official launch of Saturday Kitchen, where the idea was first announced.
James made the headlines recently for admitting in an online car review for the Daily Hate Mail that he had intentionally ran cyclists off the road in an electric sports car, surprising as it was thought he would have issues getting his chubby frame into a Tesla and that his weight would have instantly drained the power. In his spare time James likes to eat blocks of butter whist getting aroused by the images in Pro Cycling magazine."

I have to admit to LOL'ing at that one.

Now they are staring at me in my office.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/James-Martin/53867346848

I hope he takes a hepatits exam and gets B.

I hope his next special guest on ready steady cook is the entirety of British Cycling.

I hope next time he goes camping in the rain he touches the inside wall of his tent, drawing the water through and causing it to leak.

I hope he buys himself a coffee and the the plastic lid comes loose leaving him with a large patch of americano on his left man tit.

I hope he goes to the toilet for a poo, and realises that in fact he only needs a wee.

I hope he accidentally buys smooth peanut butter instead of crunchy

I hope he goes to the toilet for a poo, and realises that in fact he only needs a wee.

..and he's had to pay 20p for the priviledge.

I hope he or his management are one of the 35 guests currently reading this thread.

Offers up internatioonal sign language. Waves with right, bird with the left.