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@i_am_lono
To put an end to all the geographic speculation, I am Scottish, in Edinburgh and jonlubi, your five pounds (Clydesdale Bank mind, printed this morning, fresh off the Epson) shall be stapled to the aforementioned traffic lights.
ASM: As for dismounting and swearing, I'm pretty sure I could only handle one of those at a time.
Nefarious: are you riding like Francis Begbie might? Did you get a new jacket the first day of the Festival off some yank?