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@BigFatAl
LdnGrrl - got to say that as a newbie I'm impressed with the rate of your posting - almost Hippyesque in volume, but far more friends no doubt (looks at my own pathetic count on both fronts).
A shame this post didn't appear earlier this summer (just coming to the end of my holidays). Can appreciate that you aren't in the best place to gain confidence as I used to work in Northwood and despite its quiet roads they weren't exactly cycle friendly.
As for the balancing, I'm not sure how people could help in this regard. Are you comfortable on your bike - saddle height, stem length etc?
With regard to confidence, I feel that it has to come from you. I was knocked off my bike 10 years ago and broke my spine. Getting back on my bike was no problem as I was knocked out and couldn't remember the collision. However, I then started feeling conscious of vehicles approaching from behind. I now wear a cycle helmet and I'm fairly wary of my surroundings. My own feeling is that cycling is a far more visual activity - you can prepare for what will come ahead and from the side of you, but not from behind.
Just cycle I guess (what shit advice) you'll gain confidence I'm sure.
BTW you appear to cycle a Gitane - so did I, it was a lovely bike.
Good luck