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@Donut
I was heading towards Blackfriars Bridge from Ludgate Hill last night with three of my friends riding behind me like little ducks when this anus of a man driving a top-down BMW sped past us with just a few inches to spare. Sucker of balls!, I thought and sped after him to (eloquently and calmly) tell him he was likely to hurt someone if he thought it was normal to drive like that.
I saw him queuing at the lights and started slowing down, and then remember skidding lightly to a stop as I began telling him off with the ol' High and Mighties, wagging my finger like a 1950's copper. But just as the words left my mouth there was fucking ridiculous cry of "Woooooooooo!" followed by a hard crunch as one of my friends slammed into me, knocking me off the road entirely. This was followed by a stack of other cyclists going "wooo wooo wooo!" and quickly unclipping and calling me a knob-end.
I recognised the embarrassment of this situation immediately, because The Anus in the BMW was smiling when I next looked up with this smug expression that said "bad luck". Fucker then sped off as we picked my friend up off the ground.
We must have looked like a right bunch of losers. Especially as the chap who stacked it broke his wrist. It went grey and floppy and weird. Ewww.
Anyways, this post is longer than it should be. So: not sure if there’s a moral to any of this, but the BMW driver probably still thinks cyclists are goofs and I should probably not stop so sharply in traffic, and people should maybe not ride up my bum-hole whilst looking at pretty girls on the pavement.