What makes someone a hipster... or not?

I'll kickbox your fucken heads off, you fucken hipsters.... particularly if you are english, and vegan.
I hereby insinuate that you are a loser trying to fit in to society by rebelling in a uniform direction to the rest of a pre-defined social group. I add credence to my theory by highlighting the fact that the specific directions of your hatred appear to have been store bought.