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@tricitybendix
The police at Brick Lane did used to give a shit. They were doing some good work with the local LCC group. I've copied in the info from March 2005 below. It may have been posted in this thread before but... meh.
I know it's not exactly groundbreaking stuff but for the Met it's impressively proactive re bike theft. Unfortunately the guy who was co-ordinating it from the Met's side left and now they are from what I can tell pretty hopeless.
http://www.towerhamletswheelers.org.uk/campaigns/brick_lane_police_initiative.html
March 2005
Brick Lane Police Station is looking to re-unite cyclists with some of the bikes that they have recovered from Brick Lane Market. If they match a cyclist to a bike then they can prove the bike was originally stolen and charge the person who had it. Therefore it is important to help them out here as this will help improve the situation at Brick Lane.
We would like to re-iterate the point that if your bike is stolen, the single most helpful piece of information you can give the police in your theft report is the frame number. So please do write it down somewhere safe.
What Is The Initiative?
The Metropolitan Police in partnership with the Tower Hamlets Market Inspectors have been working for a number of months seizing suspected stolen pedal cycles from illegal street traders in order that these cycles can be returned to their respectful owners.
What Are The Successes?
So far with police and market inspectors have seized over 40 pedal cycles in the hope of returning them to their owners. In addition those persons caught trading illegally are prosecuted.
What You Should Do!
If your cycle is lost or stolen:
Report this to the police. Please try to give the most complete description possible. This should include the make & model, colour, type of handlebars, distinctive marks & any accessories. What would also be of a great help to us would be the frame number, which can be found on the bottom of the frame. Also if you have a picture of the cycle this would really help.
Attend Brick Lane Police Station, 25 Brick Lane, E1 with your crime reference number & you will be able to look through the seized cycle picture folder & hopefully identify your bike.
If your cycle is not amongst the ones that we have confiscated we will keep your details & contact you if we do come across it.
NB The current batch of seized bikes date back to October 2004.