Awesome e-mail conversations

I do this in my 'spare time' - incorporating some of it into my Fringe show this year too

From: Jason Murphy
Sent: 07 May 2009 11:16
To: Sales@eurekadirect.co.uk
Subject: Anti Swine Flu Masks?

Hi

I’m looking to place a wholesale order for anti ’swine flu’ masks? What would be a minimum order?

Thanks

Jason

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Subject: RE: Anti Swine Flu Masks?
Date: Thu, 7 May 2009 17:32:03 +0100
From: Fiona.McKenna@cmuk.co.uk
To: http://icanwastetime.com

Good Afternoon Mr Murphy

Thanks for your recent enquiry, we do not have a minimum order. Please can you let me know the quantity you are looking for and I will check the stock for you. Please provide the product code you are looking for.

Many Thanks

Tracy

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From: http://icanwastetime.com
To: fiona.mckenna@cmuk.co.uk
Subject: RE: Anti Swine Flu Masks?
Date: Thu, 7 May 2009 18:54:08 +0000

Hi Tracy

Well I’m working on the basis that a large town - lets say Swindon for example - goes to pandemic level 6 and the towns inhabitants last trip to the shops is for an anti swine flu mask before curfew is imposed, possibly enforced by Government troops armed with sub-machine guns and ordered to shoot to kill, possibly not?

How about a price on 155,432 (approx habitation as of 2001) of part number 443MSK01 ?

Thanks in advance

Jason

P.S Would you be able to do buy 3 get 1 free on this part number?

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Subject: RE: Anti Swine Flu Masks?
Date: Fri, 8 May 2009 10:01:54 +0100
From: Fiona.McKenna@cmuk.co.uk
To: Jason Murphy

Good Morning Mr Murphy

Thanks for your recent enquiry, unfortunately we would not be able to supply this amount of masks at the moment we are out of stock of this particular mask.

We can supply a smaller quantity of the DFM200 pk100 surgeons face mask £9.95 Ex Vat each

Many Thanks

Tracy

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From: Jason Murphy
Sent: 08 May 2009 10:55
To: Fiona Mckenna
Subject: RE: Anti Swine Flu Masks?

Hi Tracy

Sorry I hit send and had not finished typing my reply - I ham slightly ashamed - apologies!

The DFM200 - is this product certified for use in swine flu do you know?

Thanks Jason

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Subject: RE: Anti Swine Flu Masks?
Date: Sat, 9 May 2009 13:08:39 +0100
From: Fiona.McKenna@cmuk.co.uk
To: jason murphy

Good Afternoon Mr Murphy

Thanks for your enquiry, the masks are not certified to stop you getting swine flu they are only a precaution to help prevent you catching it.

Thanks

Tracy

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From: jason murphy
To: fiona.mckenna@cmuk.co.uk
Subject: RE: Anti Swine Flu Masks?
Date: Sun, 10 May 2009 15:06:53 +0000

Hi Tracy

Sorry have not replied I’ve been feeling a little poorly.

Could you perhaps supply them with something in writing along the lines of ‘Whilst every effort has been made to ensure these masks are Swine Flu proof, the manufacturers and selling agent accept no responsibilty should you still die?’

It’s just so I have the best possible chance of making a quick profit on selling these things while the panic is still fresh in peoples eyes.

Here’s hoping

Cheers

Jason

P.S Does Fiona mind you using her e-mail address?

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Subject: RE: Anti Swine Flu Masks?
Date: Mon, 11 May 2009 17:38:33 +0100
From: Fiona.McKenna@cmuk.co.uk
To: jason murphy

Good Afternoon Mr Murphy

Sorry no we can not supply the masks with your specification.

Thanks

Tracy