• Let me tell you another tale from the other end of the Dynamo. Due to various problems and mess-ups, I started late. Even later than Pixie. I was too late for London Fields and a route map, so I just dotted down some notes. No problem - I've done the DD several times before. My Spooner day bike seemed about to break, but I had made up my mind to do it, so I broke every rule in the book, built up a back-up frame that I had forgotten the problems of, no shakedown, and even put on a different saddle.

    I had a decent ride out, just a bit lonely. I got the magic, but missed the camaraderie. Amazingly, I did eventually pass people. I think Greenbank and Seldom were being harsh, but reality is the harshest on the clueless. I came across people who had got lost (got lost myself, didn't remember the route as well as I thought), people crawling grimly with ridiculous loads or on unsuitable bikes, people who had cried, people whose friends had packed and were off somewhere looking for train stations (at 3am), others whose friends had abandoned them and gone ahead, and people who had completely tanked. Some seemed to have had no-one to advise them, and apparently couldn't use the internet either. Luckily the weather allowed them to crash out under a hedge for a few hours, PBP-style. I had to sympathise. On my first-ever DD, (pre-internet), I didn't even know enough to bring a spare tube. When my tyre was blown off the rim by a jagged star puncture, Patrick Field came along and gave me a spare tube without saying a word.

    Some people must have joined the ride on the way home from the pub - they didn't seem to have slept beforehand, eaten, or charged up their lights. As early as Finchingfield I passed a DD rider kipping in the bus-shelter on the green. Even asleep he looked as flat as a pancake. I kept a guy with a nice bike company for a while, encouraging him, but it was a downhiller with off-road tyres, and eventually he packed.

    I didn't even try the feeding station, it would have closed or at least run out of food.

    I did see some forum peeps, because by the time I was nearing the beach, some of youse were already on the return leg. I think I saw Oliver, I think Hillbilly (recog from Tarckness) Greenbank, together with someone else on a purple Pearson, and a few others. Some returnees were alone, one or two were taking a break by the side of the road. I saw more daylight, and Greenbank is correct, there was noticeable DD litter on the way.

    At the beach I kipped a bit and turned round. My very worst idea of the day... the year, maybe.

    I have a thing about this transport issue. I did the official London-Brighton as prep for DD, and it was ludicrous that on a 'green' ride, 50,000-odd bikes and riders all had to be driven back to London afterwards. The 'London-Brighton Motorway Run'. You can't get on the train, and even when you can, you get robbed for the fare. They manage to do it in Europe. Sort it out Boris.

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