Slippy seat post (but not the usual kind of slippy)

Ask yourself, the last few mornings when you have had jam on toast (don't lie now) - did the jam taste a little bit odd ?
And did you find that your teeth had an unusually good purchase on the toast ?
If so, I may know what happened to your assembly paste.

Crumpets.

Everything is clear now.

I'm off to A&E.