Stopping on your bike; what it says about you

When I have to stop for a red light, zebra crossing, or to check out my reflection there are 4 options as I see it.

a) trackstand.
b) put a toe down staying on the saddle nose.
c) put a foot down move bum off the saddle.
d) both feet down.

Since I got over the novelty of a) and am rubbish I naturally tend to go for b).

I am tall - my arse/saddle are at head-height for any drivers behind me.

I realised that I regularly probe my bum with the nose of my saddle in full public view.

Sometimes gently and sometimes harder; sometimes on the cheek and sometimes...

It feels nice. A little tooo nice. I haven't been getting much sex recently.

I am now consciously trying to alternate between a) and c)

Am I gay?

You forget my europro version which is to put one foot down but sit on the top tube and appear to consider the crossing nonchalantly.

Full top tube in the arse ftw

@ hippy - that is c) ii) top-tube in crack.

a, b and c but never d. (rarely a as I suck at trackstands and don't want to embarass myself)

@ hippy - that is c) ii) top-tube in crack.

No, only one foot comes down, the other remains clipped in ready to roll baby.

This isn't some nodder move this is glorious pre-race posing at its best!

^ works great if you have toptube protector..

I always start with a. After I mess that up, I move quickly on to c and then before anyone notices, I switch to Hippys "nonchalant sitting on top-tube".

Depending on how undignified a fashion in which I botch the trackstand, I add to the casual factor by resting my elbows on my bars and having a look at my fingernails. Then, I look up at some imaginary birds before waiting on the other lights to go orange before sprinting off at top speed. As soon as a round a corner, I slow back to normal pace to catch my breath.

a), then b) when a) fails.

I reckon I look like a lunatic most of the time. I trackstand until the absolute bitter end, so that when I put my foot down, it's as a last ditch attempt to avoid falling off. Which I'm guessing doesn't exactly look graceful.

I've also developed a nasty tendency to stop trackstanding just as the lights go green, resulting in an annoyed grunt which startles pedestrians and cyclists, and probably makes me look even more unhinged.

I attempt (a) and then fall into the road still clipped in like a twat.

Saves my bottom from any ambiguity.

I'm very much the a to c routine. Track stand always seems to fall apart about 2 seconds before the lights change or the pedestrians get out of the way.

a) yogically gazing at a single point for minutes on end, until such time as the trance has ended, the lights have changed seventeen times, everyone else has got to their destination and onlookers have got so bored they gave up throwing small stones at me.

I always go for option a.

Although my confidence was dented last night: After a perfect trackstand the lights changed, I lent forward and put all my might into the pedals, but my front wheel got stuck sideways in a grove into the road and I went crashing to the ground over the bars. I got to my feet quick smart and glanced back just to double check the car behind wasn't coming to run me over... alas the couple inside were pissing themselves laughing at my complete fail... DOH!

lately i've been opting for

e) put one hand on a car/bus/post and stay clipped in

I generally go for c) - trackstanding looks too much like hard work. Like the sound of b) though

lately i've been opting for

e) put one hand on a car/bus/post and stay clipped in

That's one of my fave's but do suffer from grubby hand syndrome sometimes !

You forget my europro version which is to put one foot down but sit on the top tube and appear to consider the crossing nonchalantly.

Full top tube in the arse ftw

Illustrated beautifully here in a Google image search; note the elbows on the tops keeping as aero as possible whilst motionless.

Always c) with right foot in the clips... Top-tube right up the Gary Glitter FTW!

Exactly. Although this only gets used at really long light cycles since I'd hate to get into "the position" and have to move off staight away without attracting awe from passers-by. Trackstand for most lights.

Option a always, however if I am particularly knackered, I will sometimes put a foot down to give my legs a rest.

I just go really slowly when I see a red in the distance. if I put a foot down my family will die.

Amateurs

I always go for the 'dutch wink' option

I saw a chap riding towards shop 14 seated on his top tube. Apparently this is the next big thing.

usually option a, until 2 seconds before the lights change i almost fall off so i have to put a foot down.

singlespeeding at the mo (until i find a stem bolt) though so its a looooong skid to trackstand.

a) for me every time on fixed and road bike. Sat down too none of this arse waggling in the air nonsense. Do it properly or not at all I say.