Wanted: Bike build

I read that if you iradiate all the gold in fort knox, all the rest of the gold in the world, would be worth loads.
Also. If you take a gold lighter, pen, and other gold bits which I've forgotten, you can make a gun.

(OK. so I may have seen it on the telly)

Is it therfore necessary to have a small, loyal manservant-assassin that you keep with your fag lighter gun?