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@hippy
"jumper in case it gets cold or rains, mudguard for the same reason (if rain looks likely), tools (allen keys, mini pump, spanner, lube, innertube, tyre levers, chainbreaker, etc), and wouldn't want to be caught out without them. Add into the mix various art materials, books, article cutouts, AV/musical/misc electronic equipment, a laptop, and you have a fucking back-ache."
I don't carry a jumper in case it gets cold - either wear a jacket or pedal faster.
I don't carry locks unless I have to.. I have one at home for shopping trips and two at work.
I don't carry mudguards - I mean, wtf?!
Tools - Alien2 multitool, blackburn minipump, Surly 15mm, 2 tubes = job done
Lube = WTF?! Leave it at home ffs.. you need to properly clean your chain before applying it so you're not likely to do this on the road are you?
Dunno about your work shit.. I carry fuck all. Do you NEED it all? I mean really NEED to carry it? Judging by your other crap I reckon there's ways you can cut down.