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@woffle
probably waayyyyy too late but:
if nothing else works take a roll of wrapping paper and roll of sellotape with you, take the wheels off and then liberally wrap the frame etc up like a big present : tada! Luggage!
I saw a cyclist do this after a heated argument with a station guard who wouldn't let him take his bike through the gates because it was rush hour. He nipped into WHSmiths, took his wheels off, turned his handlebars to the frame and then created himself a large wrapped present in shiny xmas paper. The guard just giggled and let him through.
Good luck.