Why I <3 Trains...

Tommy, I quite agree that trains are stretched to capacity, and sometimes your not going to be able to get on.. even if it's just because you have a large bag! But for times when hitlerish guards complain about 2 bike rule on a quiet train I'm intrigued by just taking off the wheels. This is defiantly legit right? I could probs lock the frame into the baggage bits and keep wheels with me...

Government makes airlines charge proper prices for those bullshit domestic flights.
Money goes to improving trains and reducing train ticket costs. Job done. :)

Failing that.. a curfew during daylight hours for anyone that doesn't have a bike.

Hippy for PM!

How about adding to your original policy and bring aviation fuel in line with other fuel types by taxing it?

I like trains, but the two bikes rule on Southern Trains is wearing me out.

South West Train allowed any number of bikes, even the bike compartment which is designed to hold 2 bikes have 9 bikes and the guard didn't bat an eyelid, unless it's rush hour.

The SWT from experience are rather lax with bike in train (used to take the SWT between Farnham and Wimbledon/Waterloo).

If you need to use your cycle at the other end of the journey please consider the following:
Travelling earlier or later to avoid peak times.
Helpful advice from Southern Trains.

[boring shit]

This doesn't work for me. The ban starts from trains that arrive in London between 7am and 10am. Great considering my first train doesn't terminate in this country's great capital until after 7am! I have however caught it on a couple of occasions with a 'normal' bike and haven't been challenged yet, although I'd rather not get up at 5:30am, or get into work an hour and a half early just for the privilege of riding a 'normal' bike across London.

[/boring shit]

Fucking love trains i do!

Still feels like a day out. Haven’t had any problems with bikes but i don't commute on them.
I arm myself with a bottle of red and some plastic glasses sit at a table and see who turns up. i have met some good people on those 3-4 hour journeys

Saying that those fancy new toilets can get to fuck! Both times i have used them the door said locked but as soon as i start emptying the tanks i hear a click and see the bastard move; revealing me to the rest of the carriage like a fucking generation game prize. the second time i went no hands. spice it up a little...

This is a long shot but has anyone reading ever done the Leeds-Norwich route (via p-boro) with a bike?

When travelling with a bike do I need to book an extra/different ticket?

nope. just phone them and tell them you have a bike. tell them its a nice shiny one but what every you do don't let on you are a fixie hipster.....

on a serious note - East Midlands let you take your bike on for free so you are fine

I've done the old phone up in advance thing... I just got the automated answer phone with a list of choices. No option for an operator to speak to, and certainly nothing as helpful as, "For booking a bike space for your lovely, pride and joy, vintage road frame, fixie conversion, please press 6."

But mostly I've found the staff don't pay attention when I'm at the station, and don't care, so you can just get on (sometimes I wait till they're distracted)... But I think this depends massively on the station and service/ line.

I like the winter Sat afternoon train back up from Dorking - half normal folk, half muddy, wet, gently steaming mountainbikers and their filthy bikes.

Hmmm - must do that again soon...

I book my long trips in the station and make sure I get bike reservations. If I am ever challenged, it's a good idea to have one of them to wave in the dude's face..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3tC9pi54ss

Never seen that sketch before. Brilliant work.

on a serious note - East Midlands let you take your bike on for free so you are fine

Thanks for the info.

When I were a stoodent I had Bruce forsyth as the picture on my railcard for about 6 months and Maggie Thatcher for about 3weeks. No-one even raised an eyebrow despite me ostentatiously waving the pic in their noses about three times a week.

love trains HATE the system and the nazis that run it. Viva the photoshop!

I don't even do it well, i basically change the numbers and dates, and stick the print of in between the orange strips, as these are pretty bright, and my printer aint that good!

as far as barriers go, i show it to the guy on the side gate,and tell them it doesnt work through the barriers!

today, i didnt even show them a ticket!

Wait a minute ... you are crying about not getting your bike on and you aren't even paying ... WTF!!! You shouldn't be getting on in the first place.

I've done the old phone up in advance thing... I just got the automated answer phone with a list of choices. No option for an operator to speak to, and certainly nothing as helpful as, "For booking a bike space for your lovely, pride and joy, vintage road frame, fixie conversion, please press 6."

But mostly I've found the staff don't pay attention when I'm at the station, and don't care, so you can just get on (sometimes I wait till they're distracted)... But I think this depends massively on the station and service/ line.

Be warned Brighton and Mlton Keynes have watchdogs on the gates!

ARGH! Bikes on trains!

Had to leave my BMX locked up at Liverpool Lime Street for a whole weekend with a shitty D Lock when some nob at Lime Street said I couldn't take my bike on a Virgin Train unless I pre-booked. I asked if there was any other bikes booked on, customer services said no. So I asked what the problem was. They said, "rules are rules."

At Euston I wasn't allowed on even though I had pre-booked my bike on because I didn't have a ticket for my bike?!? Nowhere on the website does it say you need a ticket for your bike. When I phoned up to book my bike on, I wasn't told I need an extra ticket. I was given a booking reference and that's it. I had to use my best puppy dog eyes at the advance ticket office at Euston to get a hand written ticket allowing my bike on.

The amount of times I've had to stand with my bike because some lazy cunt with a baby in a pushchair insists on sitting in the bike area. Right underneath the big sign that says, "These seats only to be used when not needed for bicycles." There's empty luggage racks, hundreds of seats and they can't be fucked to take their baby out of the push chair and fold the fucker up. You try arguing with a mother and baby though, suddenly you're the cunt for trying to make a valid point. Everybody's huffing and puffing because I'm in their way, but a mother and baby are in my way? Who gives a shit, it's a mother and baby.

On the other hand, I've got my BMX on the circle line at peak time thanks to a really nice guy on the gate at Liverpool Street station who said, "Oh go on then, it's only small."

Rail companies appear geared up for the 'business' traveller nowadays - £100 plus for a 4 hour return journey for a 1 hour meeting in London - however alot of re-thinking of T&S claims now with this recession thingy going on. The last couple of years bank holidays/weekends is when they do the 'essential engineering work' - 2hrs .50mins from Leicester to London ffs.

Just reading through this thread and saw this. There has to be some kind of best quote prize for this:

Saying that those fancy new toilets can get to fuck! Both times i have used them the door said locked but as soon as i start emptying the tanks i hear a click and see the bastard move; revealing me to the rest of the carriage like a fucking generation game prize.

The amount of times I've had to stand with my bike because some lazy cunt with a baby in a pushchair insists on sitting in the bike area. Right underneath the big sign that says, "These seats only to be used when not needed for bicycles." There's empty luggage racks, hundreds of seats and they can't be fucked to take their baby out of the push chair and fold the fucker up. You try arguing with a mother and baby though, suddenly you're the cunt for trying to make a valid point. Everybody's huffing and puffing because I'm in their way, but a mother and baby are in my way? Who gives a shit, it's a mother and baby.

Sounds about right.

The amount of times I've had to stand with my bike because some lazy cunt with a baby in a pushchair insists on sitting in the bike area. Right underneath the big sign that says, "These seats only to be used when not needed for bicycles." There's empty luggage racks, hundreds of seats and they can't be fucked to take their baby out of the push chair and fold the fucker up. You try arguing with a mother and baby though, suddenly you're the cunt for trying to make a valid point. Everybody's huffing and puffing because I'm in their way, but a mother and baby are in my way? Who gives a shit, it's a mother and baby.

'AS A PARENT' is the most effective way to start ANY argument. People instantly assume you are thinking of the future for our children!

Doesn't work with me, people don't seem to like teenage fathers.

Sounds about right.

I'm no cunt. Or maybe I am. Hmm... would explain a lot.

In Holland, they have double-decker trains - they're fantastic. Sitting upstairs... on a train..!! And you can take bikes.

It's under-investment in the train network during the Tory years which has led to the current sorry state of affairs. Blame Mrs Thatcher.

But look on the bright side - the country is poor right now, so there won't be any huge investments in civil projects. But at least we know that the senile old speed-freak will die soon and then they'll have to put her in the ground. Wherever that is will become one of the most popular dancing spots in the country, mark my words. Bring a bottle, have a boogie.

Still no bikes on trains though. Not til after 9:30.

Has anyone tried the taking the bike to bits method. I've booked a train up to the lakes on friday and now found out we can't book bikes on. Thinking of taking a duvet cover and taking the wheels off and sticking it all in that. What do you think my chances are?