Getting my new bike home on the tube

That sounds like an absolutely brilliant plan. You'll have to push up Finchingfield, and down into Sudbury, as well as probably a few other downhills, but it might just work!

Are Joff and Kat planning to do it, as well?

Hell yeah. And my mate Andy, who has the best mutton chop sideburns in the whole world evah.

There's a modern one going for cheap in my local bike shop, which seemed like a fun possibility for a Sunday mess-about bike but you're now putting me off that idea. I thought it'd be like the penny equivalent of a BMX but maybe not.

I love the idea of the originals. I'm just a bit... umm... nervous? It's the idea of having to stop suddenly when nob peds walk under your front wheel etc. Aren't you in danger of flipping over that front wheel and face-planting from a great height if you reflexively slam on the front brake?

Yes.

Come on, you've sold us the plusses, what about the minuses?

^^^ That.