Fixed Bike Shops: Duty of Care to Shoppers

I'm going to become a millionaire by coaching a benevolent lobster to straddle my BB, squeezing my feet to the pedals with his claws, and releasing when the bike stops. I will then cross-breed him with lobsters of varying colours, so that hipsters can match their lobster to their rims.

Foolproof.

Lobster, now there's an idea. And when you've finished with it I could fry it up with some lentils and peas.

Nice.