Peds!

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  • 3 times this year?

    Don't you get out much?

  • 3 times this year?

    Don't you get out much?

    Not since the court order.

  • You're right, that is the main thing. But: three times this year now I've had motorists telling me they think I have no right to be on the road.

    I usually retort this by saying something like this: 'you've no right to be alive, but your disappointing parents clawed into each other one night in some passionless sexual act in which your dad's withered-on-the-vine genitals managed to become turgid in some freak one-off act of animal instinct. From there you've failed in everything you do and everyone you know. Frankly, I've only just met you and I find you repugnant. You repulse me. I wish they could make a replica London and launch it off the coast of Cornwall just so you can be a smug cunt in your own city. I suspect somewhere between day 2 and 3 you'd be so disappointed you won't be able to point your bile laden, vitriolic mouth at someone, that you'll beat yourself to death with your own steering lock. Years later you'll be found in a replica NPC. 'Why?' they'll mutter. But we'll know. WE'LL KNOW!!!! So, why don't you get into your car. Turn on the ignition and keep driving. And keep your venom-laden opinions to yourself until you can learn some manners. Good day indeed."

    However, they've normally gone across the traffic lights at 'You've...'

  • However, they've normally gone across the traffic lights at 'You've...'

    Yes, that's why "Fuck Off!" still has vast currency on the roads. Loved the more complex sentiment, though.

  • motorists are wankers too, clipped his wingmirror by accident, he winded down his window when i was stopped at a red, and fucking threw his lit cigarette!!!
    i even said sorry to the man before

  • Why'd you clip his mirror? Evil scum cyclist! You're all the fucking same!!!

  • the fat bitch in the car probably has not had sexual intercourse for a while... don't worry about it. main thing you're both ok.

    SPOT ON. you should have locked up and given her one for all us cyclists

  • motorists are wankers too, clipped his wingmirror by accident, he winded down his window when i was stopped at a red, and fucking threw his lit cigarette!!!
    i even said sorry to the man before

    oooh what brand?

  • The outer circle around Regents Park seems to have a higher-than-usual number of peds stepping out in front of cyclists... of which there are also a huge number - the perfect combination! Anyway, my route home takes me round the park and what with the multitude cyclists, the crazy/angry drivers and the peds blindly wandering out into the road, I had at least 5 'oh cr*p' moments in under a mile :-)

  • Today, trackstanding behind a bus at a bus stop, turning left and lights are green so i'm being patient. Another bus behind me. A fat woman (why are they always fat?) shouts "You're blocking the bus, the bus can't stop!" - referring to another bus behind me. This whilst waddling the 3 metres between where the bus should have stopped, and where it has actually stopped. I was incredulous. I just about mustered a "twat" but it was drowned out by the bus in front accelerating away. There's nothing as funny as folk.

  • thought i would share a small tale, bolting across waterloo bridge took a right to go up to holborn and pow a really drunk girl jumps from between a crowd of peeps right into my path she got knocked out! at on point i thought she was dead i was doing 30, and then quickly ran to check me bike all good the question is thou i think there should be some some kind of somethin to raise public awarness of the fucking roads because if i was a motorcar she would be dead!

    close call.

    I did similar on Shoreditch High St... maybe a week or two back. Some fucker ran out in front of me, he got properly nailed. I was fine, couple of bruises but I landed OK so no big thing.

    I asked if he was OK and tried to call an ambulance but he refused. He was bleeding a bit but nothing life-threatening; then he walked off. I was prob doing about 20 at the time, so I guess we were both lucky. Or maybe I was luckier :)

  • I usually retort this by saying something like this: 'you've no right to be alive, but your disappointing parents clawed into each other one night in some passionless sexual act in which your dad's withered-on-the-vine genitals managed to become turgid in some freak one-off act of animal instinct. From there you've failed in everything you do and everyone you know. Frankly, I've only just met you and I find you repugnant. You repulse me. I wish they could make a replica London and launch it off the coast of Cornwall just so you can be a smug cunt in your own city. I suspect somewhere between day 2 and 3 you'd be so disappointed you won't be able to point your bile laden, vitriolic mouth at someone, that you'll beat yourself to death with your own steering lock. Years later you'll be found in a replica NPC. 'Why?' they'll mutter. But we'll know. WE'LL KNOW!!!! So, why don't you get into your car. Turn on the ignition and keep driving. And keep your venom-laden opinions to yourself until you can learn some manners. Good day indeed."

    However, they've normally gone across the traffic lights at 'You've...'

    How about getting this printed on a business card or flyer which can be thrown in through the window of the offending car (possibly tied to a brick)... then they can read about how much of a complete cnut they've been in their own time!

  • BTW, t shirts are printed. There are only about fifteen male ones, Any takers?

  • BTW, t shirts are printed. There are only about fifteen male ones, Any takers?

    You got any XL ones? If so i'll take one please!

  • Yes please! Medium for me.

  • Cool, as soon as I get selim to take a photo I'll do a proper list.

  • sweet

  • Jaywalking should be an offence, fine the fuckers. all other road users get fined, do it to those fucktards.

    Do you jump red lights? If you never ever jump red lights then at least you're being consistent. Jaywalking and jumping reds are both fine things to do as long as you're safe and aware of what you're doing.

    Just yesterday, idiot woman steps off curb at x-walk without looking when I have the green light.

  • Is it me or were are there an unusual amount of idiots around today? That includes drivers and other cyclists.. I have a pretty quiet cycle to work normally, but today had so many "shiiiittttt" moments that I was actually in a terrible mood by the time I got to work. Maybe I'm just tired, but it always seems a bit more mental on the roads on a friday?

  • I usually retort this by saying something like this: 'you've no right to be alive, but your disappointing parents clawed into each other one night in some passionless sexual act in which your dad's withered-on-the-vine genitals managed to become turgid in some freak one-off act of animal instinct. From there you've failed in everything you do and everyone you know. Frankly, I've only just met you and I find you repugnant. You repulse me. I wish they could make a replica London and launch it off the coast of Cornwall just so you can be a smug cunt in your own city. I suspect somewhere between day 2 and 3 you'd be so disappointed you won't be able to point your bile laden, vitriolic mouth at someone, that you'll beat yourself to death with your own steering lock. Years later you'll be found in a replica NPC. 'Why?' they'll mutter. But we'll know. WE'LL KNOW!!!! So, why don't you get into your car. Turn on the ignition and keep driving. And keep your venom-laden opinions to yourself until you can learn some manners. Good day indeed."
    '

    You say this too? I thought it was just me.

    I was wheezing down the road and someone stepped right out in front of me, no looking of course. I go smack into them and they go flying. As do I. I pick myself up, dust myself off, retrieve the bike, and check out the pedestrian lying prone and groaning in the gutter. It's only Dave Prowse! You couldn't make it up.

    Well you could. In fact I just did.

  • Watched someone on a bike hit the deck on Old St. this morning when some ped ran between the traffic. He got up pretty quick so I didnt' bother stopping, just slowed down and yelled at ped (who was on other side of road now) to "fucking sort him out! cunt!" and wished him a very merry christmas.

  • Lordship lane last night - stepped out from behind 2 parked cars, looking to his left, when the traffic's coming from his right. 30 / 40 yards from the Junction, where there is a ped. crossing.

    "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING ROAD!"

    I think he might have pooped himself.

  • You say this too? I thought it was just me.

    I was wheezing down the road and someone stepped right out in front of me, no looking of course. I go smack into them and they go flying. As do I. I pick myself up, dust myself off, retrieve the bike, and check out the pedestrian lying prone and groaning in the gutter. It's only Dave Prowse! You couldn't make it up.
    Well you could. In fact I just did.

    ha! you funny fucker !

  • I usually use my drill sergeant voice and shout "DON'T!!!" loud enough to strip their eyebrows off. They always stop dead.

    However... I have a new secret weapon...

    Timmee haz air-horn. AIR-HORN, I tell you!!! Fear me, feeble peds.

  • I had to lecture a fucking 80 year man about what red/green men mean.. what a fucking cockend. How fucking old do you have to be to work this shit out???!!? And the dosy cunts (him and his missus) were staggering their cripple old arses across in front of a bus. Fucking stupid old cunts. How about you fucking wait.. it's what old people are good for motherfucker! GREEN man = go.. RED man = stay the fuck where you are cuntox. If I had've mown the cunts down it would've been "oh, another crazy cyclist kills poor defenceless pensioner" or some shit. Cunts cunts cunts cunts cunts.

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Peds!

Posted by Avatar for socialamnesia @socialamnesia

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