Training

a good heavy weight is essential for the downhill stretches, a diet of chips is the recommendation followed by beer, then a curry or kebab and you'll be fit to (drop) descend like a stone.

Hills are to be avoided at all costs, and if absolutely necessary take a bungy strap in your back pocket and clip it on your bike and to some sinny oik's bike while he's not looking, who's whistling up the hill as if it wasn't there, it'll gve him some much needed training, and you an easy ride up the hill.

Job jobbed.

hahaha. love it. excellent advice.