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@dancing james
keep yourself busy
is there an activity you have wanted to try (sporting, yoga, pottery)?it will help fill your time, give you new things to occupy your mind (i loathe that whole brek up thing of ruminating as to whynd where it went wrong) and you may meet new people.
losing someone close like this makes me feel like I have been eviscerated, you have my sympathy but being a heartless forum fucker all I can offer is HTFU.
sadly it is all cliché - time is the healer, plenty of different fish in the sea but right now probably none of this helps.
as suggested earlier keep yourself busy rather than trying to understand what has happened.