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  • Oh indeed, as our eyes met across the steaming cups in the cold night air and the deisel fumes made the coffee taste a little bit more plasticy, she smiled at me with a big grin punctuated with the gaps where here dental work was unfinished. That's when I knew she was the one for me.

    I paid some guy filling up his Fiesta a tenner to drive us home while she whispered pure filth to us. Unfortunately I was three sheets to the wind and passed out on the stairs and can't rember her name.

    Now, has anyone seen my wallet?

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