Brick Lane Bikes - Let's clarify some things

I went to BLB, they lured me in with free beer, but after a couple of bottles I was dragged into the cellar and killed like in that film 'Saw 3' - I was cut up and made into bike parts, my face a saddle, my cock a brake lever, my balls mere decorative baubles.

I understand that business is business, but this really put me off ever going back there.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA

I am crying here.

So someone ended up sitting on your face and squeezing your cock.