Brick Lane Bikes - How Lame Really?

(Mr east end Twunt skulks around shop, trying to feign interest in everything and anyone until the shop staff start to get annoyed at the disgusting smell emanating from Mr east end Twunt's general direction)
Lovely BLB shop person: Hi, can I help you?
Mr east end Twunt: (in broad mockney, desperately trying to conceal well-healed home counties background) Er, yeah... Hi man... Was looking to buy a fixed-gear, er, mine just got stolen (visibly blushes at his blatant lie)...
Lovely BLB shop person: Oh, so sorry to hear that... Which bike was it?
Mr east end Twunt: (beads of sweat forming on forehead) Er, um, it was a Parmigiano lo-fro track frame with, erm, full Billy Merckx components groupie-set... I'm pretty gutted, actually, it was pretty sweet... Yeah, really gutted, actually...
Lovely BLB shop person: O RLY?

Can't be arsed to finish this, but you get the idea...

Hahaha, quality.