Wired: 5 Inexplicable Fixie Fashions

Hm, for me this is actually a bit anti-porn.

It’s not enough that these cred-machines don’t even work well as city bikes — their track-bike heritage means that they have but one gear, no freewheel and no brakes

The backlash starts here!!!!!!!

[quote]
Cards in Spokes
Why? This is the bike equivalent of wearing a top-hat with the ace of spades tucked into the band — foolish teen-minded posturing which serves as nothing more than an in joke between equally feeble-brained "insiders." If the perpetrators would make one simple modification, clipping the card to the frame with a clothespin and letting it rattle against the spokes, at least their rides would sound like a motorbike. Well, maybe not a motorbike, but at least we’d hear them coming so we could look away and deprive them of their life-blood: attention.

I mean, for all I know, he may be trying to be not serious (if so, he's failing to get that across), but one thing I really dislike about opinion pieces like this is that people just don't do research.

    ![](http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/04/15/2861130875_351e259d81_m.jpg) 

The Mag Wheel
I’m not sure if these are even still called mag wheels, but they were back in the '80s when the coolest BMXs had Skyways or Zytecs on them. They may have looked dumb even back then, but at least they matched — you bought a pair and put them front and back.

Today, these plastic wheels have grown to road-bike size and are only ever found on the front. There is actually a reason for this. Cycle couriers, the deities of fixie fashion, use these five-spoked wheels so they can more quickly sling a chain through the front wheel. As always, fixie riders took the form but not the function, so we have to contend with this eyesore.

HE MEANZ ARROSPOK!

Handlebars There are many variations on the mindless mutilation of fixie 'bars. It seems that the less practical and more uncomfortable, the better. Standout mods include handlebar tape (or the lack of — the less the better, especially in winter) and the "flop-and-chop," which means that you flip your drop handlebars in the head and cut the ends off, often resulting in something a matador would be scared to face.

Has he ever ridden on any of the bars he mentions? And is he actually trying to criticise people who use handlebar tape?

One evergreen favorite is to trim the bars down to an unusable length, barely wide enough to contain your two hands. This is also a courier hand-me-down — the pros do it so they can slip between close-packed cars in traffic. Fixie riders do it to "keep it real."

And to show off good balancing skills--I could never do that, as my sense of balance is poor. I want my bars to be as wide as possible.

And is it just me or do you hardly ever see somebody actually riding a fixie?

It is just you, mate. It is just you.