Nuck Chorris

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
In Pamplona, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris

M.I.A. 1,2,3,4,5, etc, etc,

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

What's the fastest way to a woman's heart?

Chuck Norris' fist

Chuck Norris rides a Brompton. It's true.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a folding bike. He folds his own.

Fneh, Nuck Chorris has nothing on Sruce Bchneier

Actually - I'm suprised that no-ones yet done Sheldon Brown Facts.

Sheldon doesn't pump up tyres - he lowers the world's air pressure.
Sheldon doesn't roxafix a cog - he rotafixes you!
When Sheldon Brown rides West, the world speeds up.

hippy Chuck Norris doesn't need a folding bike. He folds his own.

glad to spike that one up for ya

What a team!

Chuck Norris got his ass handed to him by Bruce Lee.

Chuck Norris doesn't need an ass. Chuck Norris neither eats nor sits down.

chuck norris was karate world champion...really

Chuck Norris is World Champion. That is all.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be moments away from death.

The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

I ain't dissing the Norris, was just brought up on old school kung-fu. This is worth taking nine minutes out to watch though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly0tEC4f3Ic

photoben I ain't dissing the Norris, was just brought up on old school kung-fu.

good call ben, nice to see that again. i take your kung fu and raise you tai boxing. they beat the kung fu masters, world finest?!

I take you martial arts (any) and raise you...

or a nice home-made pipe bomb, firearms, a motor vehicle, a bow and anything else that can kill from distance. Nyer! :P

Yeah, well hippy, none of that could stop Samurai Jack!

hippy I take you martial arts (any) and raise you...

or a nice home-made pipe bomb, firearms, a motor vehicle, a bow and anything else that can kill from distance. Nyer! :P

ohh tharts a pleasant vehicle

I ride one to work when I'm angry... fixed rotors of course..

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

I thought it was "Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land"

Also: "Before the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks under the bed for Chuck Norris"

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

Its true....family guy says so:

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

van damme was a ballet dancer