Offered: Well used 24 year old vintage frame, some desirable parts, sexy face

you could work as an illegal minicab.

I would rather whore myself out to very ugly fat older women than do that for a job lol.

you might aswell do it. wait outside fabric. take your customers down a dark alley steal their belongings then chain them to a lampost. easy money

Have you not thought of the obvious solution? Work as an illegal minicab AND whore yourself out to fat ugly older women. (And men - fuck it, you need the cash).