Fight club

had enough of that annoying twat on the forum? Feel the need to settle a domestic dispute? Now you can with FGSS fight club!

here's how it works:

1. everyone will talk about fight club.
   
2. you challenge your opponent to a fight here.
   
3. (s)he will either decline your offer (see losing) or accept the challenge.
   
4. you will agree, on this thread, a time and date for the fight. this date and time must be posted on the thread at least 1 hour before the fight. (In the event that less than one hour's notice is posted, both fighters will be deemed losers)
   
5. on the date and time, the first three from the list of members viewing this thread (in alphabetical order) will become the judges. Judges will confirm immediately by PM and any of the three judges will commence the fight by annnouncing in the thread.
   
6. You have 5 chances to insult, abuse and generally malign your opponent by posting in this thread. Additional points will be awarded for creativity (lying) and going off topic. The challenger starts, followed by the person being challenged, etc. Smilies have been disabled. References to another fighter's mum have been enabled.
   
7. At the end of the fight, the judges will decide, by PM, who they think is the winner, results to be posted in the thread.
   
8. Anyone deliberately interupting a fight, or caught fighting after a fight has ended will be disqualified.
   
   

Fight winners will gain their choice of the following (can be varied in exceptional circumstances):

1. bragging rights for one week.
   
2. 3 pints / drink of their choice at a location of their choice, on a date mutually agreed.
   
3. the right to have their bike washed and serviced, at the losing fighter's choice of location.
   
4. the right to at any point in the future and without warning, "borrow" the losers bike for no more than 3 hours.
   
5. Sex with his/her: sister / brother / girlfriend / boyfriend / mum / bike / pet chimp
   
   
   
   

Alternative arrangements:

Two fighters can be nominated by other forumengers in good standing in the community, as long as there is a good justifiable cause (and a chance of a good scrap) to fight. Five separate nominations must be received and the fight must be accepted by both fighters. Normal rules then apply.

Fight!