Irrefutable scientific proof that cycling drunk is safer than cycling sober

me and a few mates were pissed coming home from a club once and my mate crossed a dual carriage way ( with the rest of us but he was first), he got hit walking in front of us and a car hit him going 50 to 60 mile an hour and he fucking went miles no lie,

The most amazing thing happened!! He had no broken bones or anything LOL
One of my friends approached the driver and smacked him in the swede ( poor fella, in shock, didn't need a slap) considering it was my mates fault.

Then a most amazing statement was issued by the ambulance driver," boy your friend is lucky" , "why was that" I replied,
"cause if he was sober, he probably would have been severely injured or dead",my mate was up and about within 5 minutes of the ambulance arriving
Fucking amazing, apparently it was because he was so drunk and relaxed he flew like 'rag dolly anna' and was so limber he was unharmed, but if he was sober he would have been tense, an experience I will not forget!!!!

But saying that aside, statistics are fine as long as they can be predicted but they can't

Ambulance driver speaks the truth, when your pissed you just don't react to getting hit so don't tense up all your muscles and just sort of tumble around straining things instead of snapping bones. I'll never forget watching a drunk guy getting hit by a taxi at 60km/hflying through the air then bouncing back up of the road and having a go at the driver before heading straight into a night club.